Christians have all been through those weeks where we feel like the devil is just riding on our backs reminding us of our past and all the sins we committed, and reminding us that we aren't worthy of Gods love or to get into heaven.
The day I met up and talked with my grandpa about the God stories was a Wednesday. I felt like the devil had been riding my back that past weekend up to that Wednesday. As we talked I kept having an urge that I needed to go to prayer meeting with him that night, it was almost like I felt that something amazing was going to happen that night at church and I needed to be there and also like I said the devil was riding on me hard that week.
That night we went to prayer meeting and the pastor told all of us to gather around the altar and pray as you would do at any prayer meeting....hopefully. As we knelt down I felt myself just say to myself "alright Andrew nows the time to let it all out and tell God how you feel". We knelt down and I remember specifically praying and telling him that the devil had been riding me and I didnt feel like I was going to heaven or in "good standings" with God. I told him that if I was fine to show me some kind of sign that he was still living in me and he was still with me. I remember saying to just break me down so He could lift me up...little did I know what was about to happen.
After prayer we all got up and went back to our seats and of course my grandpa did his shout of, "well praise the Lord". I sat down and felt fine, and as this guy in front of us stood up and started testifying my heart began to beat the hardest ive ever felt it, then I just started busting out laughing and crying and I just couldnt control myself. I felt the deepest and sincere joy and peace just rushing all through my body. As a couple people stood up and testified Gods spirit just became stronger and stronger in me to where I was hunched over and just laughing and crying. Finally I stood up and said my piece and the service went on from there with singing and again people shouting. I think that was the first time I had ever in my walk with God felt that much joy and peace. Just goes to show that when you are sincere with God he will give you way more than what you asked for. I asked for a sign I was in good standings and he gave me a whole church service filled with the spirit of God.
Back to one of the nights at promise keepers I was thinking about my past and thought to myself, I would never go back to that life for anything in the world. That joy and peace I felt that day was more than enough evidence for me that I am on my way to heaven and no marijuana smoking or getting stupid drunk will ever compare to that feeling. And then I thought its sad that not everybody will get the chance to have that feeling of peace and joy to the point of "why would I ever go back".
My last thought of me thinking of my past was now that Im a Christian and I know God is always with me, I have NO REGRETS of following him.
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